It's upon us! Christmas is almost here! It is my favorite season, but also my busiest. Aside from holiday planning and shopping, we also have our oldest daughter's birthday and our wedding anniversary to celebrate ... all in the month of December, with my birthday following shortly behind, on January 7th! We did a lot of simplifying this year! I'm finally doing a nutritionist lead detox, to start to heal from mold illness, and all food indulgences are out of the question. So no crazy birthday cake, big Christmas meal, or anniversary dinner. When you simply can't even try to do it all, it makes things a lot less stressful! It forces you to slow down a little bit and enjoy what this time of year is really all about. For our family it is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savoir. Without his birth there would be no reason to celebrate!
I was grateful to be able to see my brother's girls at Thanksgiving and glad that things went well. Even while sorting through all of his belongings to make sure everyone got what was meaningful to them. I think Christmas will be a harder holiday for me. I almost always saw my brother at Christmas, and it was a holiday we both loved so much! I have so many memories of us together at Christmas time! Especially the memories of sneaking into my parents' bedroom closet to see what they had gotten us before they wrapped our presents! Not that that stopped Jeff! He had been known to unwrap and re-wrap gifts to see what he had gotten! Mostly though, Christmas was always a happy time in our home (even when other times weren't), and that was what I loved the most.
This year, I've been trying to really relish everything about Christmas! It is our first Christmas in our Yurt Home, and I love being able to get all of my decorations out (as many as I can fit in our smaller space) knowing I won't have to leave them in storage anymore. I've been watching Christmas movies all December and even started knitting a scarf for a gift (I haven't knitted for a few years). We also got our Christmas tree early and decorated while listening to Christmas music, which is the only music that has been playing in the house, or car, for the last few weeks! Tonight we plan to take the girls to see Christmas lights, around town, and then watch Polar Express. I want this year to be a memorable one for my girls. Not because we did anything super exciting, but because we took the time to spend the time together. It seems like the last year has brought on constant fighting between my two oldest girls, and the stress of building, and living in a construction zone, has brought on even more fighting between Matt and I (I didn't think it could get any worse, but it can, I guess). I'm hoping that we can enjoy our holidays together as a family, watch Christmas movies, spend time with friends and family, and really enjoy each other's company. Most of all, I'm hoping after a great season of celebrating, we can have a fresh start on January 1st!
I'm a little nervous about next year, admittedly ... we are still in a phase of firsts after my brother's passing, which was April of 2023. His birthday was/is February 14th (yes, Valentine's Day), so we still have to get through his birthday, and of course the anniversary of his passing. We found out he was gone on April 2nd (my youngest daughter's birthday of all days). However, nobody had seen or heard from him for a few days before that, so it's hard to say what his actual death date was, but the 2nd of April will be a very hard day for me!
That's the thing about life though, even in the beauty there is still often pain. It's being able to see the beauty through the pain that is the real gift! Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our pain that it is hard to see anything good in it. My hope and prayer for everyone is that even if this is a hard time of year for you, that you will be able to see the beauty in life too! Take the time you need to grieve, but remember to find the glimpses of joy in life also! They are there if you look for them! I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Until next time ...
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